Great week-end

| July 25, 2016
Gold, Silver and Bronze medallists

This was a busy and memorable week-end for both of my girls.

Lauryn and I were in Grand Bend on Saturday for a 12U beach volleyball tournament.  Three teams formed with girls from Lauryn’s indoor team were playing and they finished 1st, 2nd and 3rd.  It was a fantastic day and a real tribute to their indoor coach who teaches and inspires these young athletes to grow their skills.  I found it hard to watch when the girls played against each other… I’m used to cheering very loudly (just ask the other parents) for every team member when they play indoor together, so I was definitely outside of my comfort zone.  Beach Volleyball is also different in the sense that coaching can only come from one person at time-outs, so any encouragement can’t sound like “coaching”.

These girls played beautifully and their improvement over a very short beach season is amazing.  I marvelled at their ability to manage the heat… thankfully the lake was close enough that they could jump in between matches.  What is even more incredible is how easily they manage competing against each other… they transition seamlessly between their competitive mindset and the “let’s go dive in the water and have fun” mode.  It’s exceptional and speaks to the bond they have formed through their indoor experiences.   

Cailyn wasn’t with us on Saturday.  She certainly would NOT have comfortably managed the heat and, more importantly, she got to hang out with her dear friend, Alessia, for almost 24 hours.  Sleep-overs are already special times but this occasion was extra precious because Alessia is moving to California in a couple of weeks.  It’s the first time that one of my girls’ close friends is moving away and we’re both finding it difficult because Alessia’s Mom is also a dear friend of mine!  I am very grateful she has this memory!

Good luck to the Preds girls in their Provincials! 

Thankful

| July 20, 2016

The girls are home from Camp and they had a fantastic time.  Our departure from camp was delayed with reluctant goodbyes. It was only after a visit from the camp director, who needed her counselors to help with camp clean-up, that we were able to pull away from the wonderful experience. 

Every time the girls have gone to “Res” camp, they have returned with many fun stories!  There were just as many great stories after this camp but they seemed bigger and brighter.  As they’re getting older, they’re really growing in their capacity to appreciate what an amazing opportunity it is for them to interact with the exceptional staff that makes Camp possible.  

Whenever I go to Camp Trillium‘s Family Camp, I always walk away believing that the world is going to be in great hands as these young adults enter “the real world”.  Each year, I receive and witness the brilliance evident in the intentions and actions of the “staff”.  I will never forget witnessing the maturity obvious in the actions of a 19 or 20-year old male counselor (“special-friend”, in camp lingo), as he consoled and calmed a teen camper.  His ability to openly demonstrate care and compassion was truly exceptional.

When your child is on this kind of journey, there are many things to worry about.  The idea of sending your child away to camp can cause some real concern for their physical and emotional well-being.  I can sincerely say that I don’t worry when I send my kids to Camp Trillium.  The camp staff have great experience supporting children on these crazy health-care journeys and they anticipate and plan for things that I might not have even considered.  For example, the camp director called before camp to share how she had changed a certain aspect of Cailyn’s experience to keep her safe during an overnight trip.  I am very grateful that people were looking out for her!

Thank you Camp Trillium for an amazing life experience for my girls. Thank you also for providing the space where  I know that both my girls are happy and safe! 

Uncle David

| July 15, 2016

   

I would like to use this vehicle to honour my Uncle David.  Uncle Dave lost his battle last night with a rare blood cancer.  It is a disease that he has battled for a decade.  And, although there were moments we were hopeful, in the end, the disease won the battle.

My parents, my brothers and I had the blessing of seeing Uncle Dave last week-end.  The blessing is three-fold.  We had the opportunity: to tell him we love him; to share moments of our time with him over the years that have become dear memories; and, to make another important sojourn as a family.  We are so thankful to my Aunt for sharing this precious time with us.

Cancer is indiscriminate… it doesn’t matter what kind of person you are or how you treat other people. It is an illness that is life-threatening for the individual and quality-of-life-threatening for everyone on that journey with the individual.  In Uncle Dave’s case, it took his life but it didn’t take his love for his family, his integrity, his generosity of spirit, his wisdom, or his character.  He will be remembered dearly.  I personally will remember the life lessons he taught me, his love of being on the water, and that he was the one who first taught my daughters how to fish.

 

My love goes out to all who loved this wonderful man… he has left a lasting impression on all of us and his loss will be well and truly felt. 

Hug your family and be generous with your love today.  There are no guarantees that you’ll have the opportunity tomorrow. 

Camp

| July 12, 2016

Monday afternoon, I drove the girls to Camp Trillium  for six days of camp.  

This camp is a very special place specifically focused on providing great experiences for children with cancer and their families.  During this week of camp, both of my girls have the gift of sharing time and having fun with kids who really get what it means to either be “the kid with cancer” or  “a sibling of the kid with cancer”. 

I’ve always been respectful of the fact that I don’t really know what it’s like for either of my girls to be on this challenging health journey.  Having the opportunity to hang with others who could very well have the exact same feelings is a wonderful gift.  There’s no expectation to share their thoughts and feelings but I think, at this age and stage, great comfort is drawn from knowing that you’re not alone! 

As an adult, it’s one of the most compelling aspects of Family Camp.  Spending time with other parents, talking or playing games or participating in activities, is soul-satisfying.  I have had tears rolling down my face, from laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe, and from crying about the trials and tribulations faced by the people I meet.  I am humbled by the grace and strength evident in everyone we meet. 

Here’s to the girls having a fantastic week.  Cailyn will be able to participate in most things with her foot but she does have some restrictions.  Thankfully, being in the water isn’t restricted at all!    

It’s another hot and sunny day!  Go jump in the water, girls!!

Follow-Up

| July 9, 2016

YAY!!

I finally got notification that Cailyn’s MRI shows that her tumour is stable.  I am VERY RELIEVED and happy, as it is a wonderful springboard into some of the fun planned for this summer.  The communication took a little longer than usual (and than I would have liked, clearly) because Cailyn’s oncologist was away for a few days.  Note to self:  “ask about these kinds of details”!!

When I told Cailyn about the great news, she asked, “what about the echocardiogram?”  I imagine she’s relieved and happy with the MRI results, too.  However, it appeared that the results of this ultrasound were as significant on her radar as the MRI results were on mine.  I quickly emailed her oncologist back to inquire.

The results from Cailyn’s echocardiogram weren’t as clear.  Consequently, Cailyn is being referred to Cardiology for more imaging.  Her doctor commented that “they need better imaging of the superior vena cava that leads into the heart”.  So, hopefully, the appointment and subsequent imaging will happen quickly and we’ll get more good news.  I would have preferred a clear-cut and positive answer but I appreciated, at the time of her echocardiogram, that it was hard to see what they were supposed to determine during that session.

In the meantime, I’m celebrating that Cailyn’s break (physical, mental and emotional) from chemo continues!!

Still Waiting…

| July 6, 2016

It’s around this time that you start thinking… “don’t they know what it feels like to wait for this kind of information??”

I am so hopeful that “no news is good news”.  I’m thankful that we aren’t in the place we’ve been a few times, when it was critical to get a read on the MRI as soon as it was completed.  However, the expression “bitten once, twice shy” is a neon yellow sign flashing in my mind… I am so respectful of the fact that life can change in the wink of an eye.

In the meantime, the summer is definitely underway.  Lauryn is playing lots of volleyball and is enjoying her freedom from a significant amount of homework.  Cailyn is enjoying much needed downtime after her frenetic last few weeks of school.  She says she wants to improve her physical fitness and has been riding her bike and doing short walks.  She also wants to start running but she appreciates that that particular activity is going to have to wait until more complete healing has happened.  At her physiotherapy appointment on Monday, her therapist said that Cailyn’s surgeon will be impressed when we see him at the next follow-up appointment in August.  To watch her do her exercises and see her smile as she realizes what she’s able to do, gives me such a lift.  It also inspires Cailyn to continue with her efforts because she can see a light at the end of that particular tunnel.

Just a short update… hopefully I’ll have great news to share soon!

 

Waiting

| July 2, 2016

It was a long day in London on Tuesday.  I often feel as if I’m “hung-over” for a couple of days after a London day… 

Cailyn’s first scheduled appointment was an echocardiogram. The echo was scheduled for her as a result of her port surgery. The surgeon was unable to remove the “tubing” part of her port-a-cath and the echocardiogram is necessary to understand where the loose end(s) of the tubing lies. The technician had difficulty finding it and actually sought help from another technician. At the end of the ultra-sound, I asked if she had gotten everything she needed… we’ll have to wait to see what the radiologist is able to decipher from the pictures!

Our next trip was to the Paediatric Medical Day Unit for an IV start and a follow-up appointment with Cailyn’s oncologist. The IV facilitates getting the required follow-up blood-work AND giving her the contrast she needs for her MRI. This was only the third IV access she’s had for blood-work since having her port removed and not enough time has passed since the first, less-than-stellar access after her surgery.  Just like the expression, “one bad apple spoils the whole bunch”, the memory of one bad access over-rides every great one… which leads, unfortunately, to a significant amount of distress for Cailyn.  Thankfully, it was only a two-poke adventure this week and Cailyn learned something from the process that she can use for future experiences.

Our visit with Cailyn’s oncologist was good, definitely more social than serious this time, which we enjoyed!  She will be in touch when she has the results for both the echo-cardiogram and the MRI.  I am definitely anxious to hear that everything is fine.  Appreciating that the hormones involved with puberty can facilitate tumour growth, and knowing that Cailyn hasn’t been receiving chemo for 3 months while being in puberty, is something that overwhelms me at times.  I wish it were comforting to observe that she doesn’t have any new or worsening symptoms but she was also asymptomatic when her tumour grew the last two times.  

Last but not least was the MRI.  We arrived in the MRI suite by 3:30pm for a scheduled scan at 4:00pm.  Early on in this journey, Cailyn’s MRIs were always late… inevitably we’d be waiting for anywhere between 45 minutes and two hours.  Over the last several years, though, the timeliness of our appointments has been exceptional.  So, we certainly didn’t expect to be waiting until 5:30 to get a scan.  I went out to the main waiting room twice to re-assure my Mom that it hadn’t started yet so she wouldn’t worry about why we were taking so long. 

Now we have the worst part of the waiting.  Waiting for good news that her scan is stable.  Waiting to learn that everything is fine with the tubing.  Waiting. 

Here’s to great news on all fronts!!

Still Swimming

| June 26, 2016

It has been a busy few days, starting with a fantastic outing on Thursday evening with Clarky’s Kids to see “Finding Dory”.  Clarky’s Kids is David Clarkson’s charity to support families with children who are treated at Grand River Hospital and who have been, or still are, dealing with cancer.  It was a great break for Cailyn from her end-of-school-year projects and studying, and it was wonderful to connect with families we have met along our journey.  Thank you, Clarky’s Kids!!  If you go and see the movie, stay until the very end, past the credits 🙂 !!

“Just Keep Swimming” was definitely featured in the movie, and is a phrase I believe will always inspire me to take one step at a time.  It’s so easy to wonder “what if?” and this question doesn’t often lead to happy considerations!  Coincidentally, a dear friend brought me a Dory mug with my special phrase a few hours before the movie.  I have used it every day since and would take it with me to London tomorrow if it wasn’t so big!!  Tomorrow, June 28th, is Cailyn’s first MRI since stopping weekly chemo at the end of March prior to her surgery.  It’s so easy to worry about the potential outcomes and it’s often a herculean task to stay hopeful… fear is something that seems to happen naturally but manufacturing hopefulness takes conscientious effort.  That being said, I’m going to try very hard to stay in the moment.  

On Saturday, Lauryn and I headed down to Ashbridge’s Bay for one of her beach volleyball tournaments.  If you want to enjoy watching or playing beach volleyball on a beautiful summer day, this is most definitely the place to go.  Six families from Lauryn’s Club team participated in the day.  The best parts of the day were the moments we shared with others… our ride to and from the tournament with two different families; the visit we had with my brother, niece and nephew when they came to watch; hanging out with wonderful families on the beach; and, having dinner and gelato in downtown Toronto before heading home.  

Sunday saw us heading back to Toronto for a family celebration of Father’s Day and two family birthdays.  It was a short visit but, as always, so sweet.  Each of us is aware of how fortunate we are to have the bonds we do… inevitably, the celebration ends up being more about appreciating the opportunity we have to get together than it is about anyone’s birthday.  The time together was a little shorter than usual because two of the high-schoolers had exams this morning but we left it knowing that it wouldn’t be very long before we got back together.  

Cailyn’s Grade 9 year officially ended shortly after 10am this morning when she finished her Math exam.  She is so relieved that the crazy last few weeks of work are behind her but also a little sad that the fun part of school is over.  Lauryn will have her last day of school on Wednesday and then they’ll both be in “summer mode”. 

I’ll be jumping into summer mode myself, as soon as I hear that Cailyn’s tumour has remained stable!!  

Heat is on!

| June 20, 2016

Holy smokes… pun intended… it is hot!  Both literally and figuratively!  

As far as the literal is concerned, we all look forward to the warmer temperatures our summer brings.  However, there are definitely times, like the last few days, that us Hovey girls would prefer “spring”-like temperatures!  Cailyn would prefer cooler temperatures because she doesn’t cope well with the heat, likely as an outcome of all the surgeries and years of chemotherapy.  Lauryn would have preferred cooler weather for her beach volleyball tournament on Saturday, when the temperature rose to 31 or 32 degrees Celsius.  It’s the old, “be careful what you wish for” phenomenon!

As for the figurative, it’s coming down to the short-strokes for school.  Thankfully, Lauryn’s crazy weeks of projects are officially behind her.  She still has a couple of things on her plate but nothing that likely has to come home.  On the other hand, the pressure continues for Cailyn.  She has two exams, one Friday and one Monday, and has to complete two outstanding projects.  She has been unable to physically get to two of her courses for weeks and weeks and these absences have provided a significant amount of the fuel producing the heat of the fire she feels.   

I appreciate that Grade 9 is a significant transition for everyone.  So, when I consider what Cailyn’s inaugural year in High School has included, I am truly amazed at her resilient spirit.  She’s noticeably overwhelmed with the hole she has to dig out of to finish her year and yet she looked at me today and said, “it’s actually been a really good year”!  It’s truly spectacular that she can describe this year as a “really good year” when she was challenged by the last 7 months of 4 years of weekly chemo (with all the pain and fatigue that went along with it), and significant reconstructive surgery on her foot, that fundamentally changed the last 11 weeks of her school year.

As far as the literal heat is concerned, I’m thankful that there’s a slight cold front coming in tonight.  It will make Cailyn’s last day of classes at school more tolerable tomorrow.  The temperatures are forecasted to increase over the week, so while Cailyn’s dealing with the “heat” of her exams, Lauryn will be hydrating well for a beach volleyball tournament on Saturday. 

My focus will be on cheerleading.  

Birthdays and “best ball”

| June 12, 2016

Saturday was a full day!  It started at 6:30am and ended after midnight when we arrived home from our late-night celebration with ice-cream cake.  It was a day for celebrating a special birthday and experiencing the transformative magic of “team-play”.

First and foremost, Lauryn, my not-so-little girl, turned 12 on Saturday.  The last 12 years of my life have had many moments of joy as a result of her beautiful spirit and loving personality.  Shortly after 7am, she left the house to meet up with her volleyball team-mates.  Together as a team, they volunteered at the “TriGator for Kids” triathlon race.  The day turned out to be warm, sunny and glorious… shining down on a great team experience and a perfect contrast to what had been forecast.

Shortly after they were finished volunteering, Cailyn and I met Lauryn at our friends’ home, where the girls were going to hang out while the “volleyball parents” played golf and had our own get-together.  I had reservations about golfing… First of all, it was Lauryn’s birthday, and arranging a scenario where the girls hung out at a friend’s house, while I went off to have my own fun for the balance of the day, certainly didn’t feel right.  Secondly, I haven’t golfed for years and showcasing my rusty and unreliable skills with a competitive group of golfers was a little daunting.  Last but not least, I wasn’t in a great frame of mind for “playing”.  I sometimes am so aware of the weight I feel, as a result of our journey, that it’s hard to lighten up and play… these are the moments that it’s very hard for me to garner the energy to engage in “normal”.

As far as Lauryn was concerned, she was thrilled with the arrangements because it meant she would hang with a few of her friends for the day!  Thankfully, the golf game was best ball, which meant that my team’s score couldn’t be horribly impacted by my individual score.  And, most importantly, I was able to tap into the great energy and camaraderie provided by my fellow team-mates and engage fully in the fun.  This is where the magic comes in.  When the day started, I was confident I’d be happier to stay at home.  When the day ended, it was crystal clear that the team experience had raised me up and kept me in the moment!!  I truly enjoyed the day (and not just because my team won the coveted trophy)! 🙂

We arrived back to our friends’ home shortly before 11pm and I suggested that, because we were so late, we would share the birthday cake with our friends the next day.  This suggestion was met with many groans and refrains because they had done what we asked (left the cake alone)… very tough to argue with that!!  So… we finished a great day in a delicious way… with Lauryn’s ice cream birthday cake!  It was a magical day of sharing experiences with friends!  Happy Birthday, Lauryn!