Empathy

I appreciate in spades what being empathized with feels like… and, the outcome of those moments when someone in our life demonstrated that they either understood what I was feeling or was really trying to understand, was a calming sense that I wasn’t alone with my fear and concern.

As someone who has received the supportive blessing of empathy, I appreciate how important it is for me to offer empathy to the people in my life.  I fell short of doing this last week-end.

On the week-end, my desire to help people for whom I care, inspired me to share my belief that everything was going to work out in their situation, and to share an approach to making decisions that has helped along our particular journey.

What I didn’t think about was the huge frustration and sadness I have felt when I sensed that the person to whom I was expressing my own concerns was not able to step into my shoes.  To be fair, it’s almost impossible to truly understand unless there has been a similar life experience but you don’t have to have the same life experience to “try”.  Rather than just listening and saying they were really sorry for the situation I was in, they focused on offering suggestions on how I should think or what I should do.

When I was aware that my “support” wasn’t being as well-received as it was intended, I was a little surprised… surely my loved ones knew from what perspective I was speaking and that my support was sincere.  That wasn’t the point, though… the point was they needed to know that some of the people in their lives understood what they were struggling with.  They weren’t asking for suggestions, they were simply seeking supportive understanding.

I will do better next time!!