As I have mentioned a few times, this year promises to be challenging. Two imposing mountains are in my view.
The most intimidating and overwhelming mountain is the growth in Cailyn’s tumour. Being Cailyn’s advocate requires me to use my project management skills. If the desired outcomes of this project weren’t so critical, the management of it would be so much easier. When I speak, I share the different roles I have had the opportunity to play… speaker, facilitator, organizational coach, leader. The role of “Advocate” is the only role I haven’t willingly embraced. I vividly remember the moment I realized that I had to take on this new role… I had a physical reaction to it… shivering and sweating at the same time. I refer to being an advocate as the most important role that no one wants.
Intervention/treatment is looming on the horizon and the fine details need to be ironed out. First order of business is to choose the intervention… it’s either chemotherapy or radiation. Cailyn is having trouble “stomaching” the idea of more chemo after all the years she has already had to endure it. I can’t stomach the potential long-term risks of radiation in the brain-stem. She prefers the idea of radiation because the preparation and treatment is completed over a couple months, whereas weekly chemotherapy will go on for at least a year and a half. She doesn’t have the bandwidth to worry about the potential long-term consequences of radiation. That’s my job… looking to the future and trying to make decisions that optimize the long-term for this beautiful girl!
The climb for the second mountain isn’t quite as daunting and arduous but it’s still going to be a significant challenge to tackle both mountains. This second mountain is my career. Although I have had some demanding and rewarding projects over the last decade, I need to make career success one of my top priorities. I’m thankful for my diverse skill set and amazing experiences and I’m visualizing how I can create opportunities that allow me to use my strengths to help companies and individuals achieve success with their goals. Here’s where I’m hoping that the expression “necessity breeds invention” is a real truism!!
These crazy health journeys test every care-giver. New priorities rise to the top of the pile and easily consume the time and space normally available for the priorities and interests associated with family and career. We are tested emotionally, mentally, physically and financially and our bandwidths along all of these dimensions narrow, dramatically at times. For success climbing both mountains, it is going to be critical for me to accept “what is” and to focus on what I CAN do. So… on my way to creating my vision, I’m on a job hunt… any leads are most welcome!
Stay tuned!!!