A little over a week ago, I participated in a care-giver luncheon, hosted by BrainWAVE, a pediatric brain tumour program created by the Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada. This type of event helps care-givers like myself to connect with other care-givers walking along a similar path. It is a very special experience for us attendees because we all have examples of moments along our journeys that we felt misunderstood… at these sessions, every participant nods in agreement or shakes their head in empathy.
There were many difficult stories, and some tears, shared. I could totally relate to one participant’s feeling that she just didn’t know what to do to support her child. When I worry about everything that could or might happen to my girls, I also feel helpless. It can be paralyzing.
When I was first having to make the decision for Cailyn to stop chemotherapy (2008), I was caught up in an endless loop of worry. One morning, I had a deep realization that fundamentally changed my outlook. It is a moment I can vividly recall because my energy level went from frenzied to calm. This realization was that the only place I had any power to do ANYTHING (in this case, help my girls), or any opportunity to experience peace, was “in this moment”. I had learned this same lesson, the importance of being present in the moment, when I facilitated organizational teams… the approach is undeniably more critical when the goal you want to contribute to is so precious.
This insight inspired the mantra “go for hope”. I shared with the group that my mantra truly helps me stay in the moment. I know first-hand how difficult it is to stay hopeful when there is real potential for a negative outcome. What I’ve realized is that I will be devastated by a negative outcome, whether or not I have been hopeful along the way to that outcome. As I’ve shared in “Title of First Book“, if I’m hopeful, I’m more likely to take positive or constructive steps along the journey, maybe even opening up the potential for the best outcome.
I believe staying in this moment can maximize outcomes in every aspect of our lives… at work, at home, at school. I am not always successful staying “in the moment” but I am surprised how quickly I can get there when I say my mantra: Go For Hope!!!