Scan Anxiety

Today is Cailyn’s MRI.

Throughout her journey and over the course of almost 60 MRIs, I have never had pre-MRI dreams in which I learn the results.  Last night I did.

I didn’t like the results and the emotions I felt wakened me.

It took me some time to fall back to sleep as my thoughts yo-yo’d between “am I being prepared for the kind of results no one can ever prepare for?”, and, “Cailyn’s tumour has NOT grown!”.  Even my “logical” thoughts were conflicting.  On one hand, I was acknowledging that this was a first for me, and I feel that ‘coincidences’ in life are rare.  On the other hand, I have been busier focussing on what I CAN do and Cailyn has been in good form (minus the heavy cold she has right now).  Consequently, when concerns have popped up, I have more successfully dispelled them.

Needless to say, I am welcoming all hopeful energy, thoughts, and prayers.

Here’s to my next positive update that everything is stable!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *