Tomorrow, Cailyn has her next MRI. We are both very hopeful we’ll learn that there is no continued growth in her tumour. If there is any further growth, her oncologist believes that the only course of action is treatment. I appreciate that we’re not out of the woods if the MRI is stable, but it’s easier to “live in the moment” when some of your fears for the future haven’t been realized!
I have been reinforcing my efforts to focus on the positive and to think hopefully. It’s absolutely impossible for me to forget that Cailyn’s health and well-being are at risk. That being said, I will be devastated if we get the news that her tumour has grown again, whether or not I have been hopeful up to the point that we get the results.
Unfortunately, getting to this mindset can be very challenging and losing a grip on it can happen instantaneously. For example, Cailyn told me twice over the last ten days that everything in her vision had turned blue. The effect didn’t last long but I couldn’t help wondering if this was a sign that her tumour had grown and was now impacting her optic nerve in a different way.
During an appointment a couple weeks ago, while discussing Cailyn’s medical status, I realized that she and I still haven’t clearly landed on the same page regarding treatment. Here’s hoping that we won’t have to scramble emotionally to get to the same page quickly!!
We welcome all positive thoughts, prayers and feelings!!
Here’s to good news!